


FundleBundle

by writetherest



Category: The Office (US)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2008-01-01
Updated: 2007-12-31
Packaged: 2017-12-23 06:45:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 11,176
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/923221
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/writetherest/pseuds/writetherest
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What I wish would've happened after Jan stormed out of Michael's office in Women's Appreciation. Pam and Jim help our favorite couple patch things up.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Michael should've listened to her, Pam thinks as she watches Jan storm out of the office. He never should've left that voice mail message to her. There are a lot of lousy ways to break up with someone, but over voice mail pretty much tops the list in Pam's book. (Or at least it falls right after calling off your wedding to someone a week before it happens, but she tries to forget about that one as much as possible). 

Except, if she really thinks about it, the reason that Jan just stormed out of the office with her cell phone clutched tightly in her hand and her head down to try and hide what Pam is pretty sure were tears on her cheeks is that Michael did listen to her. He listened to her when she told him (after hearing details about Michael and Jan's sex life that she never, ever wanted to hear and had completely jumped over the TMI line to land somewhere in oh god, why me territory) to break up with Jan. At the time, Pam was sure she had been giving him the right advice. He himself had said that he was unhappy when he was with her (if they weren't scrap booking or… that other thing). But now, watching Jan storm out trying her absolute best to keep it all together and looking in to see Michael sitting in his office looking like someone had just killed his puppy, she wasn't so sure.

Michael breaking up with Jan was supposed to make him happier. But he looks pretty darn sad to her. Now what is she supposed to do? Pam weighs her options. There are two things in life, or at least dealing with Michael, that she hates. One is an overly happy Michael. The Michael that walks in the door with way too much energy and calls her crazy random nicknames that she hates and bounces off the wall like a kid whose babysitter has let him eat all the sugar he wants and basically just completely annoys the heck out of her. The second is a depressed Michael. The Michael that sits in his office and mopes around with those big puppy dog eyes and that pouty face, who cries at random and wails to her about how no one loves him.

Over the years she has had to deal with both of those Michaels on a pretty regular basis, because it seems with Michael Scott that there can be no middle ground Michael. So now she has to figure out which of the two Michaels is really the lesser of two evils. She can feel a slight headache coming on and closes her eyes, rubbing her temples. While they are closed, all she can see is Jan, storming out of the office doing her best not to cry and Michael, earlier in the day, sitting at the table crying at where his relationship with Jan was. She sighs and opens her eyes, her mind made up.

She catches Jim's eye, which isn't hard, because he's looking right at her, his facial features asking her what's wrong. She glances at Michael's office, then at the door Jan had just run through, then back to Michael's office and finally back to Jim. He knows what she is thinking nearly all the time (except when it really, really matters she thinks but then recants the thought quickly) and now is not an exception. He knows what she wants of him, and he slowly shakes his head while mouthing "no". She thinks that he probably has plans with Karen tonight or something, and that she should just quit while she's ahead and not cause them any trouble. But when she glances back into the office, Michael's head has fallen to his desk and his shoulders are shaking.

Jim sees this too. Pam just shrugs and offers him a small, half-smile. He shakes his head at her once again, but he's already shutting down his computer and pushing back his chair. It is quitting time and everyone is getting ready to pack up, but no one else is daring to express any kind of thoughts about what has just taken place. Most of them are avoiding looking in the direction of Michael's office at all costs. Dwight is the only one, besides the two of them, who is showing any emotion at all, and he is sitting in his chair, staring at the door with his mouth open and his eyes wide and sad and a bit confused. Pam is reminded of a child after they've been told that Mommy and Daddy are getting a divorce, and for a second, she feels bad for Dwight. 

She watches as Jim heads into Michael's office, closing the door behind him to keep the cameramen at bay. But it seems that even they are shocked by this turn of events and know better than to be filming right now. It would make for great drama, but they seem to understand that this is one moment that they can just miss. Pam smiles at them as they finish packing up their equipment and head out of the door, the first ones to follow in Jan's footsteps. Their bravery seems to rouse the rest of the employees and they all begin to follow suit, with Karen being the next out, seemingly unaware of where Jim is and what he's doing. Dwight is the last one to leave besides herself and Jim and Michael, and he only goes once Angela has placed her hand on his back and is practically guiding him out the door, murmuring quietly to him. 

Pam doesn't know what Jim has said to Michael, but soon the door to his office is opening and he's walking out alongside Jim, almost leaning on him, seemingly oblivious to her presence. The two men head out the door and Pam goes to Michael's office, watching out the window as Jim directs Michael to his car, being careful not to let him see Jan's car, still parked in one of the spaces. Jim closes the passenger side door for Michael, then comes around to the drivers' side, looking up at where she's standing before climbing inside.

Her cell phone beeps a second later, signaling she has a new text message and she checks it to find it is from Jim. _You so owe me, Beesely. Michael and I are off to Hooters. Jan is still sitting in her car. Let's fix this. ;-)_. The winky smiley face makes her smile widely and she feels her stomach flip just slightly at it. But she can't think of that now, she has more important matters to attend to. Like what exactly she's gonna say to Jan.

~ * ~

As long as she'd been working at the company, Pam had known one side, and one side only, to Jan Levinson-no-longer-Gould. It was the side that pretty much everyone at Dunder-Mifflin knew of Jan. The corporate ice queen, who hated incompetence, was driven crazy by Michael, and seemed to have her whole life pretty much tied up in her job. Sure, on a few select occasions Pam had seen a hint of a kinder, gentler Jan peeking out, but that hint was often squashed as quickly as it had come. However, today is apparently her lucky day, because she has had Michael inform her of Jan's kinky side (something that still causes her to shudder just slightly), she had caught a slight glance of possibly in love yet totally in denial Jan when she had entered his office and looked so happily at him, and now she is standing outside Jan's car door, looking in at what she can only call the emotional wreck side of Jan. 

Her boss' boss has one of her arms draped across her steering wheel with her head leaning forward resting on it. It is quite obvious she is crying, not only from the shake in her shoulders, but also from the small sobs that Pam can hear coming through the car door. She can also hear the apparent cause of Jan's emotional outburst, the message Michael had left her (the one she had told him not to leave) playing back through the phone again. Pam frowns, wondering why Jan is torturing herself by listening to the message again.

Jan hadn't intended for things to go this way. She had intended to come to the office, make amends with Michael, go out to dinner with him, and then go back to his condo for the night. She had packed a bag (she tried desperately not to think of the last time she had packed a bag and it had backfired on her) and had been excited to try out a new sex game she had heard about. But there was no dinner and definitely no sex game now. Just this stupid message that kept repeating itself over and over again. Just Michael's voice, telling her he wanted a break – permanently. And that it wasn't him, it was her.

She feels like throwing up. She feels angry and sad and she feels like she hates Michael for getting so far under her skin and then dumping her, over voice mail for god's sake! And she is angry at herself for ever letting herself believe, if only for a second, that being with Michael could be a good idea. That he would be different, that he would always look at her with adoration and always tell her that he loved her. He wasn't different, he was just like all men, just like everyone in her life so far. She opened herself up even a little bit to him, and he ripped her apart like this. 

She hates that she had shown weakness in front of him, in front of his employees, when she ran out of his office. And what she hates more than anything at the moment is that when she had finally made it to the refuge of her car, she had tried to call Dr. Perry by hitting 2 on her speed dial and had instead hit 1, which led to the calling of her voicemail and the replaying of the message again and again because she couldn't seem to make her hand let go of the phone. (She does her damnedest not to think about how pathetic it is that her therapist is the first person on her speed dial list and not a member of her family or a friend). 

Pam watches Jan for a few more seconds before she finally lets her hand stretch out and she taps her knuckles once against the window of the car. As soon as she feels the cool glass against her hand and hears the noise it makes, which is much louder than she expected it to be, she wants to take it all back. She thinks of running back into the building, of letting Jan have her cry in her car and then letting her go back to her life. But she thinks of Michael and how absolutely shattered he had looked after Jan left, and how conflicted he had been when trying to decide what to do, and she stays put. For those reasons and the fact that Jan has already startled, angrily scrubbing away her tears with the back of her hand, while looking out the window at Pam.

Pam bites her lip and smiles. "H-hi Jan."

Jan is suddenly no longer Emotional Wreck Jan. Instead, Corporate Ice Queen Jan has taken her place, looking ready to kill someone, and Pam is afraid for a brief second. "Pam. What do you want?" She is trying her best to sound professional, hating that Michael's secretary has caught even more of her moment of weakness. 

"I – I – um…" Pam had come up with a whole speech on the ride down in the elevator. She had rehearsed it in her head and it had sounded fabulous, persuasive and compelling, comforting, yet slightly reprimanding. It would have been absolutely perfect for this moment. Except Jan is looking at her like she's ready to rip her head off, and now she can't think of a single word of it, or of anything to say really, so she's standing here stuttering, which is making Jan even more angry.

"Just spit it out Pam!"

"I – I need you to come up to the office with me." The words rush out of Pam's mouth as something finally comes to her. "There's something that you… really need to see."

"What is this something? Does it have anything at all to do with company business?"

"It's – it's just, you really need to see it. Please?" Pam puts on her best cute, innocent look. "It won't take more than a few minutes, I promise. And no one is there but me. So will you?"

Jan's face is blotchy and her eyes are red, adding even more to the angry look she is conveying. Yet she still opens her door and follows Pam back into the building. Her phone is still spilling out the message, but she finally manages to snap it shut, just barely resisting the urge to throw it across the parking lot. Whatever Pam has to show her, it better be damn important.

The ride in the elevator is tense and Pam swallows hard, wondering just what is going on with Jim and Michael at Hooters, and praying that the videotape she plans on showing to Jan is where she thinks it is. If not, this could end very badly for her.

~ * ~

The ride to Hooters had been quiet. Very, very quiet. And if Jim had learned anything during his years at Dunder-Mifflin, it was that quiet and Michael were never a good combination. Except usually it meant that Michael was scheming up some new seminar or adventure to bond their little "family" even more. This time, Jim couldn't believe he was thinking this, it meant that Michael was actually upset. He had figured that Michael needed the quiet car ride, but would be fine once they got to Hooters. That however, was apparently not the case.

Their waitress' name is Kandy and Jim can see the two very obvious reasons why she is a Hooters girl. She has blonde hair and her little black shorts are riding up pretty high on her long legs, not to even mention how the two obvious reasons are nearly spilling out of her very low-cut Hooters tank top. "Hi I'm Kandy, and I'll be your waitress today," she smiles at them and Jim expects Michael to break out into a rousing chorus of "I want candy", but his boss is surprisingly silent.

"I'm Jim," he introduces himself, "and this is Michael, and we," he can't believe he's about to do this, "are brothers."

"No." Michael says softly. "No we're not. We're not brothers. I'm just his bo-"

"Friend." Jim cuts in quickly. "We're just friends. Sorry." He offers her a smile and she accepts it.

"Not a problem. So what can I get you two boys today?"

Jim is sure the song will be coming now, or at least the chicken breast gag, but again, Michael is silent. "Um, I think we need a little bit more time to decide, so maybe we could just start off with a beer for Michael and a soda for me. I'm the designated driver tonight, because," again he can't believe he's about to do this, but he lowers his voice just a bit to a stage whisper and leans close to Kandy saying, "it's Michael's birthday."

"Nope. Not my birthday." Michael shakes his head, sadly. "Definitely not my birthday."

Kandy looks at Jim and shrugs, before heading off to get their drinks. She's used to being ogled and hit on, and she remembers Michael as one of the guys who is the worst of the bunch, but today something is definitely off with him. She hopes he'll still tip well.

Jim is now seriously worried. Michael Scott willingly turning down a Hooters Happy Birthday is unheard of. Maybe something is seriously wrong with him, something more than just his breaking it off with Jan. Except he remembers the way Michael had turned away the stripper at Bob Vance's bachelor party, exclaiming "I have a girlfriend!", and he can't help but think that maybe this is all because of Jan. Cold, hard, apparently kinky, Jan. 

Why can things never be simple when it comes to Michael Scott? Why can he not just be the way he was after Carol dumped him? Why can't he have a rebound fling with Kandy the waitress and just be done with the whole nonsense? Especially since he was the one who broke it off with Jan, and not the other way around. And why, for the love of all things holy, had he agreed to bring Michael here to help cheer him up? Pam owes him so much.

~ * ~

Jan is standing right behind her, anger practically radiating off her and her eyes boring holes into her back. Perfect. Pam is trying to get the bottom drawer of Jim's desk open, but it is apparently locked. Now she needs to figure out where the key is, and fast. She opens his desk drawer and shifts around his pencils, rubber band ball, and random doodles, until she finds it, attached to a rather long paper clip chain. She smiles. Sometimes Jim is too easy to read.

She quickly opens the bottom drawer and shifts aside the folders, the Dwight costume, the few boxes of Jell-o, some of the doves from the Office Olympics, and the bobble head that she is pretty sure Dwight is going to be frantically looking for the next morning, until she finds what she is looking for. She pulls the videotape marked Fundlebundle out of the drawer and pushes it shut, leaving the key with its paperclip chain on his desk. "Got it," she smiles over at Jan who looks anything but amused.

"Pam, I honestly don't see –"

Pam brushes past her, moving into the conference room. "It's important. I swear." She turns the television on and removes the VHS of Bring It On that they had been working their way through on Movie Monday (Michael said it showed competition and the way you had to stand out from the crowd), sticking the tape that Jim had managed to steal on Take Your Daughter To Work Day last year in the VCR instead. 

Of course the tape had been rewound, so now she has to fast forward until she can find Michael's part. Jan is getting more and more impatient. "What the hell is this, Pam?"

"Do you remember the show Fundlebundle?" Pam asks, keeping her eyes on the screen. 

"No – well, maybe, a bit, I – what does it matter? And what about it is so important that you had to come and drag me up here to see it? I need to get back to New York, I've got a very important meeting that I'm going to miss." 

Pam just smiles and nods at Jan's excuses. "Almost there," she says, seeing Chet on the screen.

"Is that Chet Montgomery?" Jan asks, catching sight of the little boy.

"Oh, um, I'm not… sure." Pam answers, recalling Michael's frustration that Chet had nearly staged him up. Chet's interview is now over and Pam hits play. "Here we go."

The screen flashes over to a strange looking puppet talking to a little boy with slicked hair and a suit. Jan's stomach flips just slightly. She knows who it is, even before he says his name. Why is Pam subjecting her to this?

Pam watches Jan watching the tape and she sees her visibly react to seeing the younger Michael, even if she tries to hide it. She's honestly not sure what exactly it is she's doing, showing Jan this tape. Her original plan, right after Jan stormed out of the office, was just to go down and try to comfort Jan a little bit, making sure things wouldn't be too awkward between her and Michael now. But then she'd seen how upset Michael was and how upset Jan was, and she had started to feel guilty about her role in all of this. So now, here she is, showing Jan a tape of Michael when he was no more than 9 years old, talking about how much he wanted to get married and have kids. And she is preparing a speech in her head about how Michael really does love her and Jan should try to get back with him, and maybe cut down on the freaky sexual behavior. 

She had told Michael to break up with Jan and now she is trying to get them back together. And the saddest part, the part that proves to her that she has been working at Dunder-Mifflin Scranton way too long, is that this whole plan, this whole situation is actually making sense to her. God help her. 

On the screen, Edward R. Meow is talking to the younger Michael. "So what's your name?"

"Michael."

"Hi Michael, I'm Ed."

"Hi."

"Well, what's your favorite subject in school?"

"Recess." The young Michael answers and Jan can't help but smile just slightly. That is so like Michael.

"Recess. So tell me, what do you want to be when you grow up?" The weird puppet asks.

Jan considers what his answer will be. A magician. A clown. She shakes her head. He is wearing the suit, so maybe, just maybe, "businessman" will come out of his mouth. But she doubts it.

"I want to be married and have 100 kids, so I can have 100 friends and no one can say no to being my friend."

Jan's eyes widen, caught completely off guard by the statement, by the way Michael looked when he said it. He couldn't have meant that, could he? There is a long silence on the screen while the young Michael stands silently, looking both adorable and absolutely heartbreaking. Finally the puppet speaks, "Oh, oh, uh, okay, well, uh, nice talking to you Michael. Back to you Miss Trudy."  

Jan keeps her eyes focused on the younger Michael until he is no longer on the screen, and even after Pam hits the stop button and the screen goes black, she can't seem to tear her eyes away. She knows that that was Michael as a child on the screen, but she still can't quite believe it. Every time she had pictured Michael as a child (which was never… ever, ever.) she had seen him as this happy, crazy boy who was always joking and doing magic tricks. She had never thought of him with his hair slicked back and statements like that coming out of his mouth. But still, she doesn't see why Pam has shown her this, unless it's to torture her a little bit more.

She forces her vulnerabilities down and turns to face Pam, Corporate Jan firmly back in place. "Would you care to explain the importance of this video to me, Pam?"

Pam swallows hard then answers just as firmly, "Oh knock it off Jan. You know exactly what the importance of this was." Jan, for her part, looks completely shocked.

~ * ~

Kandy has come back to the table, placing their drinks down and asking if they're ready to order. Jim looks over at Michael to see that he is well on his way to chugging down his first beer. This is going to be a fun night, he thinks again.

"Um, I guess we'll have an order of the hot wings, and a deluxe hot dog," Michael sets the empty beer glass down on the table with a bang, "and another beer."

Kandy smiles and heads off to get their orders. Jim looks Michael over. His boss looks pretty rough. He's taking this Jan thing pretty darn hard for having been the one to end it.

Another Hooters girl comes over and places a beer down in front of Michael, winking at him as she does so. Jim smiles back, Michael barely notices the woman. He picks up the glass and takes another rather large drink of beer before setting the glass down on the table and fixing his gaze on Jim.

"I really effed up this time Jim. I mean, majorly effed up."

"Michael, I'm sure that –" Jim tries to placate him.

"I love her, you know? I am in love with her. I am in love with Jan Levinson-Gould. No! Not Gould. No more Gould. Just Levinson. Jan Levinson. The woman I love."

"Michael," Jim protests as he picks up the beer again, but he only takes a sip before putting it back down.

"I broke her heart today, Jim. I broke her poor, fragile little heart."

"Uh, Michael, from what I've heard about Jan, I don't think there's anything poor or fragile or, well, little, about her."

Michael's fist hits the table and Jim jumps slightly. "Yes there is!" He yells, causing other patrons to look over at them. Michael seems to notice and for once does the polite thing and lowers his voice. "Yes there is. She is fragile, down under all that hard exterior that she's built up. Under it all she's just a scared little girl and I – I broke her heart. I made her cry." Michael looks like he's about ready to cry himself.

"Woah, woah, Michael, calm down. Um, I mean, you were the one who broke up with her, right? So obviously you wanted to end the relationship. So you shouldn't feel this bad about it, okay?"

"No. No." Michael shakes his head vehemently. "No, it's not okay. Because I didn't want to end the relationship. I love Jan!"

Jim is now completely confused. "Michael, if you love Jan, then why did you tell Pam and the rest of the girls that you wanted to break up with her? And why _did_ you break up with her?"

"I love Jan," Michael repeats again, "just not this Jan."

"You're not making any sense, Michael," Although Jim wonders when Michael ever does make sense. 

Michael goes quiet for a few minutes, as though contemplating something very complicated. Then he downs the rest of the beer in one gulp. Jim just blinks. 

"I think I screwed her up."

"Okay." Jim is beyond trying to make sense of any of this. "Why do you think that?"

"She was fine until after the cocktail party. I mean, she was neurotic and unpredictable and kinda bitchy, but she was fine."

"Then, wouldn't it be the CFO who screwed her up, because he threw the party?" Jim silently curses that he can follow Michael's thinking so well.

"No. It was me. In the car, on the way home. We fought and then I told her I loved her."

Jim nearly chokes on his drink. "Wait a minute, you mean, you've told Jan that you love her?"

"Yes. And I think it's why she's so messed up now."

"Michael, why would you think that?" Jim asks, although he can see Michael's point.

"What other explanation is there? I told her I loved her, and it was right after that that she started up with all the sex games."

Jim tries to interrupt, not wanting to hear any more about the subject of Michael and Jan's sex life than what Pam had told him when she called him after slipping away from the group in Victoria's Secret. Her thinking had been that if she had to be saddled with the images in her head, then so would he. Which was fine, he can handle what Pam had told him (if only because it had been Pam that had told him), but he doesn't want to hear any more from Michael. However, it seems like it doesn't matter, he's gonna hear it whether he wants to or not.

"And the dress was just so tight, you know? I mean, the handcuffs were fun for a couple minutes, but after a while they really start to dig into your skin and –"

"Woah! Okay, then." Jim holds his hand up to stop Michael from giving him any more information. "I'm still not following you here. You think that just because you told her you love her that Jan went psycho?"

"She isn't psycho!" Michael defends.

"Okay," Jim considers his next words, "you think she became a sexual deviant because you told her you love her?" He nearly shudders at the words.

"I don't know! It's all that I can think of."

"Well, what about the fact that maybe she's always been this way, and is just finally showing it now?"

"No. No." Michael shakes his head and goes to drink some more beer when he notices that he now has soda in front of him. He shrugs and takes a drink. "No, I mean, before yeah, she liked it a little wild and crazy, up against the wall, down in the sand, in the elevator, on the stairs,"

"Okay!" Jim says quite loudly. 

"But it was never as…" Michael searches for the right word, "it was never as scary as what it turned into after I told her I love her."

Jim rubs a hand over his face. "Okay, but Michael, seriously, it's insane to think that you telling her you loved her sent her over the deep end," Or at least he hopes it is. "I mean, I'm sure there are other people you love that haven't turned into sex crazed maniacs after you've told them you love them." Jim tries to think of an example, but they all make him feel a bit nauseous. 

"I guess so." Michael looks incredibly depressed. "I just don't understand it. I just – I miss my Jan. I miss Chili's night Jan, when she laid on my shoulder and cried and let me wipe away her tears and talked to me for something like five hours, and then finally fell asleep halfway through a story about the first person she'd ever fired. I really wanted to hear the end of that story, but she never told it to me."

A nostalgic look comes over Michael's face and Jim can't help but feel sorry for him. As much as he thought he'd never see the day, it does seem like Michael Gary Scott is finally, actually, in love with a woman. Who he just broke up with. 

"And Jamaica Jan. I really miss her. She was so happy, you know? She was comfortable and relaxed and wearing one smoking hot bikini and… she smiled a lot. And laughed. She's got a beautiful smile, Jim. The first time I really saw it was at Chili's and then I was so caught up in closing the deal that I didn't let in really sink in. But in Jamaica when it was just us… when she would smile at me, it would literally take my breath away. And after we had sex she would let me cuddle with her and she'd laugh and smile and… it was the best GD feeling in the whole world." Michael downs more of the soda, obviously wishing it was stronger. "I miss that Jan."

Jim smiles at his boss. "Michael, it sounds to me like you honestly do really love Jan. And if that's the case then I think you need to talk to her about all this. I mean, you broke up with her over voice mail with no explanation or anything. I really think you need to sit her down and tell her how you're feeling and see if you can't find some way to make this work. Because if you really love her, you've gotta fight for her. You've gotta at least take that chance, because if you don't, you'll regret it forever. And even if she turns you down, at least you'll know you tried. At least you'll know that you gave it your all. Even if she does break your heart." The last part was whispered, if Michael was paying a little bit better attention he would realize what Jim said and that he sounds like he's speaking from experience. But he isn't paying attention.

"And if she rejects me? If she doesn't want me for anything other than hot, nasty, torrid sex?"

Jim sighs, again trying to push the mental images out of his head. "Then I guess you have to decide what you want out of the relationship and go from there."

"I want it all, or nothing at all." Michael announces and Jim almost laughs out loud that he is quoting a boy band. "I want to marry her and have a house with a white picket fence. It'll have to be built already, because I don't know how to make a picket fence, but I want one. Maybe Carol knows some good houses that are for sale with picket fences. I should call her and ask. Because I really want that picket fence. And kids. I want kids, Jim. I mean, I know Pam and I made that deal about 30 years from now, but even as hot as Pam is, Jan is hotter and I can't wait 30 years. I want kids now, with Jan. We would have the most beautiful kids, don't you think? And a dog, we have to have a dog. I wonder if Jan likes dogs? Yeah, a dog, that the kids can run around in the backyard with. We have to have a backyard. A big one. With a pool, and a patio and plenty of room for barbeques, where we can have all our friends over. I just… I want that, you know? That picture perfect life." Michael stares off into space for a few moments, apparently picturing that perfect little life. Then he scrunches his face for a second, as though thinking really hard, and when he relaxes, a big smile is on his face. "It won't be like that. I know it won't be like that really, but you know, if the paint on the fence is peeling and the kids fight constantly and we just have an above ground pool and I burn the burgers when I'm trying to cook them and we end up feeding them to the dog and having a ketchup fight instead, as long as Jan's there with me, it's exactly what I want."

Jim has never seen this side of his boss before and he's not sure he ever wants to see it again. But at the moment, Michael Scott is so innocent in his thinking and his obviously unadulterated love for _his_ Jan that Jim can't help but feel a slight swell of affection for his boss. But only a slight one. And only for a moment.

"She's gonna turn me down. I've hurt her pride and broken her heart. She'll probably slap me and then fire me. God, I effed up so bad. I suck. Why couldn't I just have been happy with the way things were? She was like a sex maniac! I mean, yeah it made me uncomfortable and sometimes scared me, but what man doesn't want that? And I broke up with her! I'm such an idiot." Michael lets his head bang down on the table. Kandy is just coming with their dinner and she jumps at the bang.

Jim smiles slightly at her, taking the food from her and placing it at the other end of the table. "I miss Jan." Comes the muffled cry from Michael and Jim does the only thing he can think of doing.

He puts his hand on Kandy's arm to stop her from leaving. "Can you bring us another beer?" She nods understandingly and heads off to retrieve it. Jim rubs his temples before taking a bite of one of the hot wings. He wonders if Pam's girl time with Jan is going any better than his man to man time with Michael. And again he curses how the secretary can make him do anything with just a smile and a little pout.


	2. Chapter 2

"Excuse me?" If Jan was shocked by the way Pam had just spoken to her, it is nothing compared to how surprised Pam is. She's never spoken that way to anyone before, especially not her boss, but desperate times (and believe her, these are desperate times), call for desperate measures, so she just continues on.

"You heard me, Jan. You know exactly why I showed you that video."

"I honestly don't, Pam, and I think this was a complete waste of my time, so if you will excuse me, I really need to be going." Jan holds tighter to her purse strap and turns to leave the conference room.

"I'm not done yet, and you don't have a meeting to go to, so can we please just drop that pretense?" Again Pam is surprised by the words that are coming out of her mouth, but she can't seem to stop herself. It feels good to finally be able to speak her mind.

Jan spins back to face Pam. "You are extremely out of line here, Pam. I can understand what you're trying to do, but I'm not in the mood right now, so I suggest you just let this go. It's none of your concern anyway."

"Yes it is," Pam says quietly, but firmly.

Jan again looks surprised. "What?"

"It is my concern because…" Pam pinches the bridge of her nose. "because I'm the one who told Michael to break up with you!" she blurts out.

Jan, she is fairly certain, has never looked more shocked (and possibly a bit hurt) in her entire life. She's trying to form a coherent sentence, but apparently can't get passed, "wh-".

Pam takes a deep breath. "Phyllis was flashed in the parking lot this morning, which led to a whole thing about Women's Appreciation, and Michael was determined to prove that he appreciated women, and so he did a Women's Appreciation seminar. And it went just about as well as any seminar Michael ever puts together, only this time we spoke up and told him that, and he decided that we were right. Sort of, anyway. So he took us to the mall so we could feel more comfortable, and he was encouraging us to dish about things and ended up spilling his guts to us about how unhappy he is with you and Karen said that he should try to work things through with you, but I just – I don't know what made me say it, but I told him he should break up with you. And I did try to stop him from leaving the voice mail, I honestly did, but still… It was wrong of me to tell him that, and now he's miserable and you're miserable and…"

"I am not miserable," Jan protests. "If Michael wants to break it off with me, that's his choice. It really doesn't matter to me. We were having a good time, the sex was decent, but I'm fine without him."

The words sound hollow, even to Jan's ears. "Jan, you were crying in your car. And, I'm sorry, but usually that means that you're upset about something. I saw you when you left Michael's office. You were really upset. You can pretend that this doesn't affect you, but if you honestly only cared about the sex, then you wouldn't have reacted the way you did. If Michael was only a sex toy to you, you wouldn't have been crying in your car. You could have just gone out and found someone else to occupy your bed."

Pam knows she's being a bit callous, but it seems like the only thing that will get through to Jan right now.

"Are you implying that I'm some kind of whore, who only uses men for sex?"

"No! Not at all. But that's the way you're making it sound when you talk about Michael like that." Pam's voice gets quiet. "And that's the way you made Michael feel."

Jan is defensive again. "I never made Michael feel –"

"You offered to pay him for sex this morning on the phone," Pam points out.

"H-how do you know about that?"

"I told you, Michael was dishing to us at the mall. And don't get angry that he told us, because Hunter was on the line when you were having the conversation."

"He told you all of that? He had no right. That was private -"

"Jan, he told us because he was hurt and confused and didn't know what to do. He wanted a woman's perspective on things. He was trying to figure out if this was normal behavior, or not. Which, it isn't."

"Who are you to judge me?" Jan snaps.

"No one. And I'm not judging you, Jan. What you do in your private life is totally up to you, and I wouldn't dream of judging you. I was simply trying to help a friend, who asked for help."

"Oh, so after one trip to the mall, Michael's your friend now?" 

Jan is definitely on the defensive, and Pam does her best to stay rational. "Michael's always been my friend, even when I didn't want him to be. And truth be told, he's been a pretty good friend to me, so now I'm just trying to return the favor."

Jan doesn't seem to have a reply to that, so Pam presses on. "I'm not trying to be mean here, Jan. I'm just trying to make you understand. Can't you see where Michael's coming from? Don't you understand, now that you've seen that video? All Michael has ever wanted, from the time he was a little kid, up until now, is someone he can love, who will love him back and want to settle down and raise a family. And he thought he found that someone in you."

Pam runs a hand over her face. "When you and Michael first got together, even before you really got together, you have absolutely no idea how annoying he was. It was literally every five minutes that he'd be out at my desk, asking if you'd called or if you'd faxed anything over or if I could call your assistant and get your schedule for the day. And he'd make us all listen to your voicemails and analyze them. And I thought things were bad after Chili's, but it was nothing compared to the way things were after Jamaica. He was even worse then, which I didn't think was possible. He was constantly telling me how awesome you were and why you were the best GD girlfriend ever. And he was always showing me pictures of you guys and making me look up the best places to stop for food on the way to visit you and just being generally Michael. And I wanted to kill him."

"But then, things started to change. I guess it really hit me when he was up on the roof, threatening to jump. He wasn't talking about you as much, and he was sort of moping around a lot more, and he said that things weren't the best with you guys. And then today when he was dishing with us, it just all really started to make sense. Michael loves you Jan, he honestly does. And he wants nothing more than that house with the picket fence and the kids and the dog. But he wasn't happy in your relationship anymore. The stuff you were making him do, the way you wouldn't cuddle or express your feelings, it really hurt him. And that's why I told him to break up with you, because he told me himself he wasn't happy when he was with you."

Jan blinks rapidly, trying to blink back tears. "He wasn't happy with me? He… didn't like the sex?"

"He was happy with you when you guys were scrapbooking, and doing couple-y things. But Jan, the sex, the role playing and the videotaping…" Pam shudders slightly, "he didn't like that. At all. And I can't blame him. He needed more than that. He needed intimacy from you."

"I – I thought that – I didn't mean to – I just –" Corporate Jan is slipping and Emotional Wreck Jan is coming back through. "I just didn't want to –"

_I didn't want to lose him_ , she finishes in her mind. When Michael had told her that he loved her in the car after the cocktail party, she had panicked. She knew he was telling her the truth, and she knew that deep down she loved him too. She should have been ecstatic to hear those words from him. But instead, all she could think of was how quickly the declaration had come, and how quickly that meant the relationship would end. 

Gould had told her he loved her the week before he proposed. For one year she had been blissfully happy. And then the 'I love you's' became fewer and further in between. Soon the only connection she had with him was in the bedroom, and even that wasn't good enough for him. He constantly wanted more from her, far more than she was comfortable with. She refused a lot of the time, and once after he had ignored her, she kicked him and told him to get out. That was the first night she knew he slept with someone else.

She had always, in the back of her mind, blamed the disillusion of her marriage on the fact that she hadn't been willing to do what Gould wanted in bed. If only she'd been more adventurous, maybe things would've worked out. Maybe he would've liked having sex with her and would've consented to having children. So when Michael had told her he loved her, her first instinct had been to do whatever it took to keep him in her life. She knew that he had seemed to enjoy the slightly kinkier encounters they had had, like on the beach and the one time on his stairs, and she had been determined to keep him satisfied. It never occurred to her that she would end up pushing him away. She just thought he was trying not to show that he liked what they were doing because he didn't want her to be freaked out, and that if she kept it up and showed him that she would do those things for him, he would want her more.

Of course she should have considered the fact that Michael was nothing like Gould, thank god, and that when he told her he was uncomfortable, that it was more than likely that he was. But she had been so focused on what Gould had done to her and how he had made her feel, that she didn't realize she was actually doing the same thing to Michael.

"Oh God," Jan breathes out, trying hard not to cry.

Pam gently places her hand on Jan's shoulder, trying to be supportive. "Jan, I'm not trying to upset you any more than you already are. I'm just trying to make you understand where Michael is coming from and why I told him to break up with you. The truth is though, that I think that you're the only person who can make him happy. And I know that he's in love with you, the real you, and if you were to go to him right now and tell him you wanted to make things work, he would want that too."

"Look, I've said my piece and it's up to you now. If all that Michael really was to you was just some warm body, then I've wasted your time and made a fool out of myself and I'm sorry, but you're free to go now, with my apologies. But if you do love him, or think that you could love him, then I think you need to think things over and make a decision as to what you want."

"You just… you need to think about what you want, what will make you happy, and you need to go after it. Because otherwise…" Pam's voice trails off, "otherwise you'll wake up one day and realize that you've spent your whole life dreaming of living in a house with a terrace outside your bedroom and that the one man, the only man, who could've, and would've, done anything in the world to make that dream come true for you has moved on and found someone else. Because you couldn't make up your mind and you pushed him away one too many times."

Pam is now the one blinking back tears, and Jan knows that she is no longer referring just to her and Michael, but also to herself and Jim. She thinks of what this girl has done for her today and gently squeezes her shoulder. "Thank you, Pam."

Pam sniffles slightly and nods at Jan. Jan lets her hand fall from the receptionist's shoulder and heads for the door of the conference room, stopping and turning back at the doorway. "Pam," she says softly and Pam looks up at her, "sometimes the timing is just off at first. Look at me and Michael. It's taken us over a year to get things together. He went through his thing with Carol, I was married before, but we still got it together in the end." She frowns slightly and says in a quieter voice, "I hope," then continues, "So… don't give up just yet."

A small smile begins to work its way across Pam's face. "Thanks, Jan."

Jan nods, "Now if you'll excuse me, I do have somewhere important to be." With that she is out of the office, headed for her car, and Pam is pretty sure, Michael's condo. 

Pam watches her climb into her car before she pulls out her cell phone and sends a text message to Jim. _Get Michael home now_.

~ * ~

It's just getting dark when Jim pulls his car into Michael's driveway, stopping behind the silver Volvo that he knows belongs to Jan. Michael has his head back against the head rest, with his eyes closed, so Jim knows he doesn't see it.

"Um, Michael," he says quietly, turning the ignition off.

"Oh. We're here." Michael unbuckles his seatbelt and pulls the handle on the door with his eyes still closed. "Thanks for everything man, I really appreciate it."

"Yeah, it was no problem, it was… it was okay, actually. But um," Jim looks out the window, trying to see where Jan is, but she isn't in her car and he can't see her in the growing darkness either.

Michael finally opens his eyes when he gets out of the car, but he's not looking in front of him, he's swaying just slightly on his feet. He'd only had two beers, bypassing the third one, but he still feels a little dizzy from the car ride. Jim quickly gets out and comes around to his side, ready to steady Michael if need be. He's just put his hand on Michael's shoulder when he catches sight of her, sitting on the front steps of Michael's condo, watching them.

She stands up and brushes her skirt down, gently clearing her throat. Michael's eyes pop open at the sound, as though he's heard it a million times before, and Jim watches as their eyes connect.

"Hello, Michael," she says softly, and then as an after-thought, "Jim."

Jim nods at her, as though it's an everyday occurrence that he drives a tipsy, broken hearted Michael home from Hooters to find her waiting on his doorstep, and replies, "Hey Jan."

"Jan," Michael manages to get out, and it's a question and an exclamation, a sob and a laugh.

She takes a few steps forward toward him. "Um, I was hoping we could talk," she tucks a curl behind her ear and then looks at Jim, "in private."

Jim smiles slightly at her, "Oh, yeah, sure, definitely."

Michael however seems to have finally broken out of the trance he had been put in at the sight of her and he shakes his head. "No, you know, whatever you have to say, you can say in front of Jim. He's my friend. He's… he's my bro. And you know what they say, bros before hoes. Because your bros will never leave you. And Jim didn't leave me in my time of need. He took me out and helped me drown my sorrows. So if you have something to say to me, you can say it to him too."

"Um, Michael," Jim tries to protest but Michael wraps his arm around his shoulder and hugs him tightly.

"This is my best friend, who stood by me when you broke my heart…"

"Michael, you broke up with me!" Jan replies, exasperated.

"That doesn't mean that it didn't break my heart." Michael tells her.

"Okay, then," Jim extracts himself from Michael, "this has, um, been really fun Michael, and I'll give you a call tomorrow, but right now, I really need to get going. I um, I have plans… with… someone, so…"

Michael pulls him back into another crushing bear hug, saying, "Thanks for everything, man. You're my best friend, you know?" before letting him go and giving him a healthy punch on the shoulder.

"Yeah," Jim says, then waves at Jan. "See you around, Jan."

"Goodbye, Jim."

Jan waits until Jim has gotten into his car before she opens her mouth to speak. Michael, for his part, is looking at just about everything but her. "Michael," she says and he glances up but then quickly back down again, "Michael, you need to move away from Jim's car, or he's going to hit you."

Michael quickly moves forward, stumbling slightly, and Jan reaches out to steady him. When her hands close around his arms, he looks up at her, meeting her eyes again. "Hello," she smiles at him.

"Hi," he whispers back. The moment is broken by the sound of Jim's car roaring to life.

He straightens back up, and she lets her hands fall back to her sides. "So," she says, letting the word hang for a few seconds. When she sees that he's expecting her to continue, she does, "you've got one heck of a good receptionist, you know that?"

"Yeah, yeah, Pam's great. She's… she's great. But what does that have to do with…"

"We, uh, we had a little talk today. She told me why you broke up with me."

"She… she did?" Michael is confused by how her telling Jan that could make her so great.

"Yeah. She also showed me a video tape, to help me get perspective on things. Why didn't you ever tell me you were on Fundlebundle when you were little?"

"She showed you that? I knew it! I knew that they took it!"

"Michael, she showed me so that I would understand where you were coming from. And, I understand now. I – I never meant to hurt you, I hope you know that. I just – I thought that you'd like the role playing and things. I thought that you did like it and you were just afraid to tell me. I'm sorry if I ever made you feel like you were only a sex toy to me, because you're not. And I know that I've done things and said things recently that have really hurt you, and I'm so sorry for that. I don't blame you for breaking up with me, not at all, because I haven't been the best GD girlfriend, and if you still want to be on a permanent break I'll understand, but Pam made me realize that I couldn't keep pushing you away, not when you're the only thing I really want, so, I guess what I'm really trying to say here is…"

Michael puts his fingers over Jan's mouth. "Stop, Jan. Just, stop it."

Jan swallows hard, waiting for the words she's certain are about to come. Pam was right, she had pushed him away one too many times, she had hurt him one too many times, and now she is going to have to live without him, the one man she is just realizing she can't live without, for the rest of her life. Tears brim up in her eyes.

Michael looks so serious that Jan feels her stomach drop to her feet. Then he smiles slowly, and quotes a line from _Jerry Maguire_ to her for the second time in their relationship, "You had me at hello."

Jan lets out a laugh that comes out a sob as she throws her arms around him, kissing him with everything she has while tears pour down her cheeks. Michael responds easily, wrapping his arms tightly around her waist just like he'd done that night at Chili's, and kisses her back for all he's worth.

A short way down the street, Jim lets his foot off the brake and depresses the gas, hitting a button on his cell phone while doing so. When the person on the other end of the line picks up, he grins. "Mission accomplished. Where are you? Still at the office? I'm headed that way, why don't I pick you up and we'll go to Poor Richard's and we can fill each other in. Karen? No, we don't have any plans. Yeah, I'll be there in about ten minutes."

Jan and Michael don't even notice the car driving off, or that it was there to begin with. When they finally break apart, they're too consumed with each other to care what's going on around them. Michael is quickly wiping tears off Jan's cheeks and Jan is playing with the hair on the back of his neck. "Michael," she whispers.

"Hmm?" he asks, still concerned with wiping the tears away.

"I just – I need you to know – I love you, Michael," Never before have those words come so easily to her. Then, as an after-thought she adds, "You complete me."

Michael looks up with amazement and smiles widely, before picking her up and spinning her around. She yelps in surprise and amusement and clings to him, although she knows he'd never drop her. When he puts her back on her feet, he throws his head back and proclaims for his entire neighborhood to hear, "I LOVE THIS WOMAN!". 

This time when he yells that out, it's the most wonderful thing he could've ever done and she's not ashamed or embarrassed at all. "I love you too," she repeats, and then louder, to prove her point, "I LOVE HIM TOO!".

He laughs with her and kisses her soundly again, before taking her hand and heading for the front door. "Come on, let's go inside. It's getting a little chilly out here."

Jan's stomach flips just slightly at his touch. "So, does this mean that the permanent break is over?" She's teasing him, but she also just needs that reassurance one more time.

"The permanent break is definitely over," he nods. Once they get inside, they settle on the couch with her curled up against him. "So, I've been thinking about it, and… I only want you to be happy. So if you want to role play tonight, I guess I wouldn't mind putting on the school girl outfit again, although I don't have a video camera so…"

Jan quickly puts her fingers over his lips. "Michael, I'm done with all of that. I should've never started it to begin with."

"But Jan, if you like it…"

"I don't. I don't like it, Michael, not really. I just… I was afraid that you would leave me if I didn't do things like that, so I acted like I liked it, to try to make you stay."

Michael's brow furrows, "Why would you ever think… Gould." He says the name with so much hatred it takes Jan by surprise. "He made you do things like that, didn't he?"

"Michael…"

"No, I'll kill him. I'll kill him for hurting you like that, and for making you do things you didn't want to, and…"

Jan kisses him hard, not only to stop his rant on Gould, but also to try to show him how much she truly does love him, and how much his words mean to her. "It's over now, Michael. He's gone from my life, and I'm right where I want to be, right here with you. So let's forget it, huh? Let's forget all this stuff of the past few weeks, and just… go back to the way we were after we got back from Jamaica, okay?"

Michael kisses her back gently, then smiles. "Okay. But, you know, we can still do fun things, as long as we're both comfortable with them."

Jan smiles. "What did you have in mind, Mr. Scott?"

"Well, Ms. Levinson, now that you mention it, I have always had a fantasy about my sexy corporate boss visiting me at work and… giving me a performance review." He raises his eyebrows.

Jan bites her tongue to keep from laughing. "But Michael, I already did that, last year, remember?"

Michael sighs. "No, not like… I meant… you know… you could come and maybe… help me clear my desk?"

"Well, it's not really corporate's job to help our managers clear their desks. Isn't that what you have Pam for?"

"No! No. I'm not talking about… maybe you could come by and I could… show you my speakerphone?"

Jan is finding it very hard to keep from laughing. "Michael, I have a speakerphone in my own office, I'm sure it's the same as yours." 

"Damn it, Jan! I'm talking about us having sex at the office!"

Jan finally can't hold it in any longer and bursts out laughing. "I know, baby. I'm sorry. I was just teasing you."

Michael is pouting and Jan kisses his bottom lip, nipping it gently with her teeth. "Aww, sweetie, don't pout. I'm sorry. That's a great fantasy, really. I've had that one myself. We'd have to be careful about it, obviously, but I think we could arrange it." 

Michael perks up at that. "Really?"

"Really." Jan nods, grinning. "But since we can't do that one tonight, did you have another fantasy you'd like to try?"

"Well…" Michael thinks about it for a second, then smiles, "maybe we could make love, and then cuddle, and you could finish telling me that story about the first person you fired?"

"That… sounds perfect," she smiles and kisses him again. "Let's go get started, huh?"

"Definitely," Michael scrambles up from the couch and takes her hand again, walking up the stairs. "And tomorrow, we'll totally do whatever you want. As long as it doesn't involve those handcuffs."

Jan just laughs until Michael pushes her on the bed and makes her gasp instead.

~ * ~

"So, what happened?" Pam asks as she takes the drink Jim is handing her.

"Well, I took Michael to Hooters, and let me tell you, that was a fun time."

Pam giggles. "I can imagine."

"No. You can't. Really."

"That bad?" She bites her lip.

"Worse, actually. He was… completely heartbroken. He didn't hit on the waitresses or tell one inappropriate joke. I even lied and told them it was his birthday and he told them the truth. It was eerie actually. Then he downed two beers and spilled his guts to me about Jan and how much he loves her. And I got to hear some more great details about their sex life."

"Oh no." 

"Oh yes. Think handcuffs."

"Oh, God, no."

"Yeah. Then I told him that I thought he should at least talk to her, tell her why he broke up with her, try to make her understand. And then you texted me and I drove him home. At which point Jan was waiting on his door step. And he called me his bro. And hugged me. Twice."

Pam has to put her hand over her mouth to stop her laughter. "Oh, Jim, I am so sorry."

"You are not," he laughs. "Then after all that, I managed to slip away and watch them out my car window. I don't know what was said, but when I pulled away they were making out pretty heavily in his front yard so…" Jim shrugs. 

The smile on Pam's face is wide. "They made up!"

"And then some. I know Michael said it was a gay friendly neighborhood. I hope it's a heterosexually friendly neighborhood too." Pam laughs and Jim smiles widely at her. "So what did you say to Jan that made her show up on Michael's doorstep?"

"I showed her the tape of Fundlebundle. And I explained why Michael was upset. And I told her I knew that she wasn't just using Michael for sex, and she needed to decide what she wanted and go after it… before it was too late."

"Beesley, you're just an old softie, you know that?" Jim smiles at her.

"I am not. I just… I think two people who obviously care about each other so much should get the chance to be happy… you know?"

Jim studies her for a few silent moments. "Yeah. I know exactly what you mean."

There is more silence as they just look at each other, and then Jim speaks. "So how did you find that Fundlebundle tape, anyway?"

Pam grins, "Oh please. That was the easy part. You're too easy to read, Jim. Locked in your bottom drawer, with the key in your top drawer? Anyone could've called that."

"I need to find better hiding places," he laughs.

"You'll just tell me where they are anyway."

Jim shrugs. "True."

"True," Pam repeats.

"So… you know Michael is going to be so annoying now, right? I mean, it's gonna be stories about him and Jan again… all the time."

"I know," Pam grimaces. "But in the long run, I think I'd rather have that than him sitting in his office, crying like he's just watched _Steel Magnolias_."

"Definitely! And hey, who knows, maybe he'll decide to move to New York to be with Jan and get a job with corporate, and then we won't have to deal with him anymore."

"Yeah. Except…"

"Except what?"

"I'd… kinda miss him. A little bit."

She waits for Jim to laugh at her or tease her, but instead he just nods. "Yeah. Me too. He is my bro after all."

She giggles. "We did good tonight."

"Yeah, we did." Jim picks up his glass. "A toast. To helping people see what's right in front of them and find their way back to each other."

"Here, here," Pam murmurs as she clinks her glass with his. She takes a small sip and raises her glass again. "And lest we not forget its importance… to Fundlebundle."

Jim laughs. "Are you drunk?" He questions, but clinks his glass against hers anyway. "To Fundlebundle."


End file.
